Tiwala

If one goes on a journey, an overpacked luggage is nothing but normal. How many times have we brought an oversized rolling luggage for a two-day trip? How many times have we packed two power banks in the fear of a blackout during an overnight trip? But the Apostles were not about to embark on a two-day vacation. They were about to go out to strangers and unfriendly towns to proclaim the faith. Yet why were they instructed to bring nothing but a walking stick?

That peculiar instruction goes to show that having faith means having trust. And having trust means letting God be in control. Having trust, therefore, means to let go. The relationship of trust and letting go is much starker when ‘trust’ is translated to Tagalog: ‘tiwala’. The ‘ti-‘ in ‘tiwala’ seems to be a fossilized prefix which implies reflexivity as in ‘patiwakal’ (to kill oneself) and ‘patihulog’ (to make one self fall). ‘Tiwala’ therefore means, to make oneself become ‘wala’ (nothing). Therefore, having trust means becoming nothing.

The Lord shows us that to trust in Him means to deny oneself and to let go of all inhibitions, all our worries and fears. If you were one of the Apostles, and you were sent out to the world with nothing but a walking stick, would you go or would you back down in fear? How many times have you given up on something because you think you are not enough? How many times have you been paralyzed by anxiety for what is to come your way? Indeed, our abilities are not enough. And the uncertainty of tomorrow is certainly frightening. But by asking the Apostles to bring nothing but a walking stick, Jesus is implicitly telling us: “Do not be afraid.” (Mt 28:10)
True enough, the Apostles set out without anything—“no food, no sack, no money in their belts.” (Mk 6:8) Yet in the end, with trust in the Lord, they were able to drive out evil spirits and cure the sick. They were able to do wonders with nothing but trust in the Lord. Truly, “I have the strength for everything through him who empowers me.” (Phil 4:13)

Mother Mary, teach us to trust in your Son, Jesus. In moments of confusion, when everything made no sense and it seemed that the only reasonable reaction was fear, you kept things in your heart, reflected, and prayed. Grant us the same strength that you had to trust in the Lord always. Amen.

————-

Jairus Espiritu is a faculty member of the Department of Philosophy in the University of the Philippines- Diliman.